surprisebitch:

as you know, i was terminated for two weeks and only got my blog back thanks to connections miraculously.. but yeah, with tumblr perma-banning all adult content starting December 17th, you know, there’s a chance my blog could wrongfully be at risk again even though i never post p*rn : )

so if you want to stay connected, here’s where you can reach me:

personal instagram: instagram.com/carlowesome

memes instagram: instagram.com/surprisebitchblog/

twitter: twitter.com/carlowesome_

twitch: www.twitch.tv/carlowesome

kpop blog (also my sfw backup blog): jaehyunbf.tumblr.com

snapchat: carloseanopry7

blog-sev:

Let’s see.

patchesthegreat:

personalgrowthforsale:

lemonvortex:

lemonvortex:

Women on twitter are sharing weird things theyve seen in bathrooms at guys houses and im fucking screaming why are men like this

ONE OF THEM HAD A GARDEN HOSE INSTEAD OF A SHOWERHEAD BYE

Why do women hate innovation?

me: caring for my pet lobster, Pinchy

my judgmental gf: lol wtf is this

shadowraiku:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

autumngracy:

Who wants to guess how many bags of peaches are in my dad’s freezer?

The answer is:

Too fucking many

This is gonna make … a lot of jam …….

So, I managed to fit all but one big bowl of peaches into the two stock pots …

An hour and a half later, here they are simmering away …

How long is it gonna take to reduce them to jam, you ask?? Fuck if I know at this size lmao

In case you were wondering, it is, in fact, longer than 5 hours, as I am still stirring this jam over the oven :) :) :)

Oh and also there was another large bowl of peaches in the other fridge that I did not see until later, so I did not in fact fit ALL the peaches into the stock pots

On a brighter note, the whole house smells like a Victorian Christmas dinner

Hello again friends, it is currently REAL JAMMING TIME and I have been in stirring hell for seven hours

Went through two whole containers of pectin and a bunch of cornstarch already and things are looking just PEACHY

So, uh, the first stock pot alone yielded 272 ounces, so I … may have accidentally made about 68 8oz jars of jam …… and I only had 36 jars …

Guess I’m going back to the store tomorrow … and going to have to join the local farmers market to sell them …

Anyway, TEN CONTINUOUS HOURS OF WORK LATER, here I am at around 3am sealing my first batch of jars … (entire other stock pot of jam lurks ominously in the background)

God, it’s like when you overestimate how much pasta you’re gonna end up with, only 300% worse

So I woke up today after sleeping like a log to fibd my dad had already gone back to the store (which is like 30 min away) and gotten me more jars because he saw that I needed them

As you can see one of those pachages is the wrong size jar (4oz) so we’ll see if I can fit all the jam into these suckers (plus the two 8oz ones I had leftover)

My dad also put all the jars of jam in the fridge, although since they were all properly sealed (aw yeah) was totally unnecessary lol

He said he accidentally dropped one on the way to the fridge but I checked and it amazingly A) didn’t break, and B) remained properly sealed, so hats off to Ball corp, and also me I guess

Update: WE BE JAMMIN’

Spices I used for this recipe:

-Cinnamon

-Nutmeg

-Ginger

-Allspice

-Vanilla Extract

The combination worked out very well!

Gotta can the rest of it after I eat tho :P

So, I FINALLY managed to can all the jam, except for like … 6 oz of it, so I made shortbread cookies to use that with ;)

Altogether I did end up with 72 jars of jam, 12 of which are the 4oz size though. What the fuck am I gonna do with all this jam, jesus christ

Anyway, thanks for coming to my jam-filled TED talk guys, take care

send me some jam op

liquidstar:

liquidstar:

it’s really frustrating how you have to wait like, 2 weeks before you can drink milk after you buy it. i know you gotta wait for the date on the bottle but like why cant the store just sell the milk thats ready?

raplinesgf:

impusively kissing! kissing when laughing! kissing cheeks to say thanks! kissing noses! kissing foreheads! kissing hands! kissing wrists! kissing temples! kissing fingertips! lazy kissing! goodbye kisses! see you later kisses! wait for me kisses! be right back kisses! that is so stupid but i love you kissing!

frawgs:

loot1000:

Look me in my eyes when we fuck

flamewarp:

jesterball:

BigJB21 spotted on feral kitten socialization video